This job was advertised in 'Design Week' which is one of the most read trade journals in the UK and Europe. Yet they actively wanted me to fill the post..? I know I have a bit of a confidence problem, I am a good designer, but I lack self belief sometimes (and with good cause judging by the past four years). But I'm taking it in my stride and not jumping around covered in Jello shouting 'yippee' just yet. I'm being cautious I guess.

My confidence is gradually coming back and all those design instincts are as strong as ever. I think it's partly down to the fact that not a foreigner here, I don't need a visa. It's not a dead weight around my neck that a company can blackmail me with like my last one in NY who screwed me over. Since I've moved back to London I've become to feel more like myself; a better self. I was explaining this to Joel when he and Julie were in town. I felt that I'd gotten to know them more in those few days in London than the entire time I was in the States because the context and environment was different.

But the worst that can happen career-wise has already happened. Losing my job meant losing a life I worked hard to build, it also left me humiliated by my loss of pride. But most painfully of all was that I lost my friends, who were the main reason why I stuck it out until all hope was lost. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm moving on now; the biggest chapter in my life so far has finally come to an end.